🟡 5 MINUTE SUNDAY · Every Sunday. One tip. Under 5 minutes.
Hiding your stress so you look "strong" to your team is bullsh*t. It doesn't make you a great leader. It just turns you into the most expensive shock absorber in the business.
Something breaks. You run in first. You fix it fast. Everyone claps.
Nobody ever asks why it keeps breaking o yeaaa over and over.
I was that person for years. The firefighter.
I was burning inside, stressed out of my mind, but I never showed a single crack to management or my teams. I held it all in with a straight face and handled every crisis like it was nothing.
And you know what I got for being so tough? More sh*t.
Why? Because I showed them I could handle it.
I wish I knew my stress type back then so I could prepare better instead of playing the superhero until my back broke.
How you act under stress isn't your personality, it's the exact playbook your team copies.
01 — ONE LEADERSHIP TIP
How you act when things go wrong is the real plan your team follows, not the corporate text in the handbook.
Harvard Business Review just wrote about the six ways leaders act under stress, based on work by Jon Miller and Drew Keller. You're already doing one of these right now without realizing it.
Lighthouse
You stay calm and hold steady when everyone else is spinning. People feel safe near you. The catch: if you go quiet, they assume you don't care or don't have a clue what to do. Say why you're calm out loud. "I'm staying steady so we can think" is not the same as radio silence.
Alchemist
You see hard times as an excuse to break old, useless systems and turn a mess into a fresh start. The catch: you change too much, too fast, and exhaust everyone chasing your next idea. Justify the change before you execute it. "Because we can" isn't a strategy.
Firefighter
You run in fast and fix it. Makes people feel safe because someone's finally moving. The catch: you move so fast your decisions get sloppy, and your team quietly burns out trying to keep up with your adrenaline. Stop first. Count to ten. Then move. Ten seconds buys you a much better call.
Stoic
You stay cool and think clearly while others panic. You anchor on facts. The catch: you bury how you feel, which quietly destroys you from the inside while you look totally fine on the outside. Say the hard part out loud. "This is tough for me too" doesn't make you weak, it makes you human.
Diplomat
You keep everyone calm and connected, holding the team together when pressure threatens to split it. The catch: you dodge the hard truths just to keep the peace, so the real problem never gets solved. Say the uncomfortable thing early. Name what everyone feels but nobody is brave enough to say.
Container
You take charge fast and turn chaos into order. Great in a real emergency like a data breach or a lawsuit. The catch: you shut people out, trust only a tiny inner circle, and leave the rest of the company feeling useless. Once the fire is out, open the circle back up. Let people back in.
None of these six is inherently wrong. The mistake is picking one default under stress and applying it to every single problem like a hammer that only sees nails.
When an investor attacks your leadership, a lighthouse steps into full transparency while a container builds the full plan quietly in a war room before opening their mouth. When a data breach hits, an alchemist uses the chaos to rebuild old infrastructure while a diplomat runs straight to affected customers to preserve trust. When supply chains break, a firefighter acts in hours while a stoic waits until the picture is clear and moves with precision.
Different problems need different tools. The way you act under pressure isn't fixed, it's a skill you train. Yes just like you train your muscles in the gym, i hate that one as well… Recognize your default under stress, then build one more response on purpose before the next crisis forces your hand.
02 — ONE COMPANY WORTH KNOWING
Anysphere, the team behind Cursor, the AI coding tool.
They changed their pricing model last summer and messed it up badly. Users got hit with unexpected charges and went nuclear on social media. CEO Michael Truell didn't hide behind PR, and he didn't wait for it to blow over. He published a direct note admitting they blew the rollout and issued full refunds.
That's a diplomat move done right under intense pressure. Own the mistake in plain English. Fix the actual damage. Don't let your ego slow down the apology.
Under stress, tell the truth fast and fix the harm fast. That's how you keep trust.
03 — ONE THING TO ACT ON
Do this before next Sunday:
- Pick your default stress response from the six above. The one that stings a little bit when you read it.
- Pick one type that isn't your default. Try it on purpose this week on something low stakes. A practice round.
- Look at the last major crisis you fixed alone. Be honest with yourself: did you fix the root cause, or did you just prove again that you can absorb the hit?
- Tell one key manager on your team which stress type you default to. Ask them if your assessment matches reality. Scary ? yeaaa but super helpful
Time required: 15 minutes
I still catch myself running toward every fire under stress before asking if it actually needs me. If you're tired of being the human shock absorber for your company, this is the exact pattern I help executive clients break. Let's talk →
See you next Sunday.
— Alisa
Fractional COO · Executive Advisor · Keynote Speaker
Helping founders and senior leaders scale themselves, not just their business.
This issue also ran on LinkedIn — join the discussion there
